There Will Always Be Reasons to Say No, But Saying Yes Changed My Life
Becoming a foster parent was probably one of the hardest decisions that my spouse and I made. I always knew that I wanted to be a foster parent, but convincing my spouse was another story. We shared our hopes, our dreams, but also all of our fears.
Ultimately, one day I looked at my spouse and said, ‘No matter what, we are always going to find a reason that now is not the right time. But what if we just take a leap, and see what happens.’
That’s my biggest advice for those considering becoming a foster parent. Just take the first step, then take another step after that, and see what happens.
For us, there was no turning back after that first step. Before we knew it, we were officially licensed and within a few hours we were getting our first call to help a child. Two children actually — brothers. I remember being so nervous and so excited all at the same time.
That first night together as a family of four, I don’t think I slept much. Throughout our journey, there were many highs and also some lows, but we worked through all of it alongside the boys’ biological mom. She needed support, and we were there to do exactly that. We cared for her boys while she got the help she needed and became a stronger version of herself. We built a great relationship with her and the boys were able to see us working together. That’s probably what I am most proud of as a foster parent — keeping that open communication is so important, when possible.
Before we knew it, a year had passed, and the boys were reunified with their mom. That was 10 years ago, and their family is still doing wonderfully today.
My spouse and I were foster parents for four years. Over that time, we fostered a total of eight children ranging from newborn to teenager. The wildest time was when we had three children under 18 months!
We still have a close relationship with the teenager we helped, who is now 25 years old and doing wonderful things to help children in foster care.
The hard part of being a foster parent is opening your heart, falling in love with these children, helping them heal in their time of heartache, and then saying goodbye. It’s not easy, and there’s not a foster parent out there who has the magic formula to make the hurt go away. But what I often tell foster parents is to think about what an important role you are playing in this family’s journey to healing — and what a lasting impact you are having. Focus on the helping part of what you are doing rather than the heartache you are experiencing. It doesn’t make it go away, but it shifts your perspective to something bigger. As much as I helped them in their time of need, they also impacted me and the person I have grown to become.
Today, we have a nine-year-old son we adopted from foster care. He came to live with us when he was five days old and we have been a family ever since.
I truly understand that becoming a foster parent is an important decision, but it was one of the best things to ever happen to me!
As the Foster Care Recruitment & Retention Supervisor at Wellpoint Care Network, I’d love to connect and answer any questions you may have. Feel free to reach out anytime at [email protected] or 855-GROW-HOPE.
The need for foster parents is great – the rewards are greater!
