Talking About Deportation and Immigration with Children
With deportation and immigration at the forefront of the news lately, children of all ages may be coming to their parents and caregivers with questions on what those terms mean and how it impacts them. Children may have fears about being separated from their parents, caregivers and other loved ones. Caregivers often wonder how much they should share with their children about these current events — if anything at all.
It is important to note that children hear about these events, even if they do not regularly watch the news. Children may hear about them from peers, teachers, social media, and by overhearing other adult conversations.
Remember that children rely on caregivers as their sense of security in the world. Caregivers’ willingness to have open and developmentally appropriate conversations with children can positively impact children’s ability to process and make sense of what is going on around them. Having these conversations also creates an understanding for them that it is okay to communicate these worries and fears to their parents.
If deportation may directly impact your family, it is important to have a plan and talk with children about what that plan looks like. Milwaukee-area resources Forward Latino and Voces de la Frontera offer planning guides and legal resources at no cost to families and individuals.
Tips to start the conversation
Early Childhood: Ask the children what they know already about deportation and immigration. Offer metaphors or examples of what deportation and immigration mean. Listen authentically and create space for them to share their worries, fears and concerns. If there is a chance that deportation may directly impact who cares for the child, be concrete and confident in sharing the caregiving plan with the child (i.e. who will take the child to school, where the child will stay, etc.). It is okay to share your fears, too, as an adult, but be sure to follow up with ways in which you know that the child will be safe and cared for.
Elementary Aged: Allow the children to share their knowledge on deportation and immigration, offering insight into the definitions of these words if they do not know them. Create space for them to share their emotions and process their feelings. Again, if there is a chance that deportation may directly impact who cares for the child, share with them your plan for caregiving and daily routines.
Adolescence: Children at this age may or may not share their fears or concerns directly with their caregivers. Be sure to offer opportunities to talk about the situation and authentically listen to their concerns. If the space is not offered, adolescents may not directly ask caregivers for it. It is again helpful to share your plan if deportation may impact who cares for your child. Your child may also find it beneficial to learn more about your family history and lineage.
Caring for Yourself
Caregivers, it is important that you take care of yourself in times of stress. Be sure to carve out moments where you can step away and take a moment to breathe. Engage in meditation, mindfulness, exercise, and healthy eating to ensure that your body is staying as regulated as possible.
Symptoms of Stress
It may be challenging to pinpoint if your child is experiencing anxiety, worry or sadness regarding the stress of these topics. Pay close attention to behaviors that may be atypical for the child, such as:
- Not wanting to go to school or trouble focusing in school
- Aggressive or regression
- Tearfulness
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Changes in eating patterns
- Separation anxiety
- Anger
It is important that families still follow their regular routines and rituals to provide a sense of predictability for children. Regulatory strategies can be helpful in calming down children’s bodies. Videos and resources on regulation can be found at Wellpoint Care Network’s website and YouTube Channel.
